Hi, this is my first post. I’m not really use to writing stuff down (like blogging), but with so much extra time during break, why not? In these recent times I’ve found a need to gather my thoughts and just share how amazing God has been in my life despite the bad news that I recieved the other day.
I can summarize this break as being very unproductive, unexciting, and yet somewhat relaxing . One thing I really struggled with this break, was a lack of excitement in life, or God. I wasn’t excited for a brand new day and what God had planned. In fact on this break, I became very lazy about my devotionals with God and unsurprisingly I became very unsatisfied with life. Funnily, I thought that a girlfriend might make life more exciting and fun, but I realized that this was my solution of filling a void in my life that only God could provide haha.. Anyways during this time, I felt something was very off in my life. I started asking some of my friends whether anything was exciting in their lives, and most of them answered no, and I wondered why there was such a lack of excitement for God. I started chatting with a close friend and an older brother (Our CCF home group leader) and I asked them if things were exciting. They were actually excited about God and what He had in store, and this was very encouraging for me. I started asking myself, “Shouldn’t I be excited about God and His love?” That night I remember just devoting time to the Lord and just talking with God, and just worshipping His name at 3 am in the morning. I was so beyond refreshed, and God just gave me so much joy. Joy that nothing else in the world could give. For some odd reason I checked my email, which I never do because I’m lazy (bad habit-trying to change). And I was surprised to see an email from one of the pastors asking me to serve on Sunday by welcoming the congregation and introducing our Pastor and one of the ladies sharing her testimony that day. On sunday I opened up the congregation and was so blessed by God. I was honored that I could serve God on this day. It’s pretty awesome how God works because I found pastor Dihan’s message perfectly tailored to what I was struggling with, which was spiritual boredom and a lack of excitement (I like the name Taylor- it’s a very pretty girl’s name). I think its really amazing how God called me to serve at this service knowing what I needed to hear from Him.
So far I’ve found so much joy in God lately, so much joy, peace of mind, and purpose even though there is such a crisis going on in our family. Despite these hard times, I just want to know more about God and who He is, and I’ve just found so much joy in reading scripture. I’ll be honest that I am not very well versed in The Old Testament, but me and a few buddies are trying to dive into it throughout the rest of the year. The Old Testament just speaks so much about His character and love for humanity. For example a friend pointed this out the other day during a bibly study: after Cain killed his brother Abel, God cast Cain out as a wanderer of the Earth and Cain was afraid that he would be killed by anyone who found him. But still, God provided for Cain and marked Him.
God Said, “Not so! If anyone kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold” – Genesis 4:15
God is amazing. He loved and protected Cain even though Cain had slain his younger brother. This is just a minor example, and I could go on and on. So many people think the bible is just a bunch of rules with do’s and dont’s, but it is actually the most amazing and most romantic love story anyone will ever read in their entire lives.
So often I find myself turning from God and filling my life with things of the world hoping that they would provide me with something greater and more enjoyable than God, but they are all empty and broken promises. Only God can satisfy the heart. My hope is to just too continue growing a heart for God. Just to love Him and his people. I’m simply learning to need God more and more every day.
“He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less” – John 3:30
-Philip
